People like you and me

This morning I was on my way to work and I hear this lady talking on the phone, she was yapping on and on. She was talking to one of those friends that you don't call for a long time and the a wedding comes up or a funeral and you have to talk and then you realize that person is really ok and wonder why you haven't called them in so long. So, you decide it's the best time to make up for the lost time, then and there.
As she was going on and on about her average life she said 'what can we do? we have no time, we get ONLY Saturday and Sunday off..' Like, what? ONLY Saturday AND Sunday? You poor, poor souls.
I don't know whether she really deserved it, but she did make my 'people I like to punch in the face' list.

As I get off the bus I see this really fat dog. I've seen him before but I am always amazed by how fat he can be. He's not very high, has 4 stumpy legs and he is so freaking fat that you could have coffee on his back. That is if you could find another fat and smaller dog to use as a stool. Or a really fat one to use as a couch. Like one of those Shar peis. So, he was chilling under an umbrella next to the newspaper stand when he sees another dog running by. This one was slim and slender, had no problem running. Fatty there, decides he wants to chase him and heavily gets up and tries to catch up with Slim, which he, of course, doesn't manage. He like ran for 3 meters and then turned back to his umbrella saying 'meh, let it be..' Walking by him I imagined he was humming


Since we're talking about fat animals, I want to tell you about another fat mammal. It's a cat, white with black spots. He hangs out next a food joint, which easily explains his fatness. He lives nearby but since they opened that place he's always there and meows at customers. Since all around this area there are only offices of corporations, the customers are those upper-middle class snobs (mostly) who have great apartments, for which they will work for the next of their lives and the next ones if they're lucky enough to reincarnate, clean, spotless apartments where they can't keep any pets. Sooooo, they see the cute kitty next to the food joint and they say 'awwww, let's feed him'. In this way fatty catty gained a lot of weight in a very short time. He used to be quite skinny, he dreamed of being a model as he has a pretty decent catwalk, but it's too late for all that now. I believe that is what makes him so grumpy. Because fatness isn't his problem. If you kneel next to him he starts rubbing against your legs and acting like a spoiled bastard begging you to stroke him, buuuut if you dare touch him he bites you and scratches you like a retarded scumbag. However, whenever I see him so annoyed I can't help myself, it's like a magnet and I pull him by his ears until he meows and jump away as he tries to grab my hand with his fat paws.,